A happy
puppy
enjoying
a rawhide
treat.
A Bishop's
speech;
Rawhide
not so
sweet.
Handcarts
and rawhides;
challenges
and blessings
of past.
Faith
and truth
a timeless path.
26 June 2013
17 June 2013
A Forced Accident
Forced Silence
Penalization
turned Paradise.
Data speeds
Slowed by overuse --
Expected video
DENIED
Silence Remains.
Thoughts Expand
Imagination's Playground --
A ponderer's delight.
An accidental
conversation --
with God.
Penalization
turned Paradise.
Data speeds
Slowed by overuse --
Expected video
DENIED
Silence Remains.
Thoughts Expand
Imagination's Playground --
A ponderer's delight.
An accidental
conversation --
with God.
15 June 2013
A Different Kind of Happy Father's Day: Temple Work as Therapy
I am a survivor. I didn't realize the extent of the abuse that I had survived, until repressed memories surfaced three years ago. Even before then, I knew that "Father's Day" never conjured up the happiness in me that it seemed it ought to have.
I have experienced years of psychotherapy for the abuse I knew I sustained at both my father's and my stepfather's hands. But the anger and disappointment remained.
Four years ago, Father's Day 2009 marked the violent end to my marriage of 20 years, although we wouldn't actually separate for nine more months, nor was the divorce final until we had been married 22 years. But the marriage was over on Father's Day.
Yet another memory for that seemingly ominous day.
This year is so different. Having the gift of being more in touch with my Heavenly Father, it was He that led me to a method of forgiveness for my temporal father, Ronald George Slighte.
The Temple.
When I took the information for my father and for his father, both of whoms deaths had been trageties towards our entire family simply by their manner, to the Temple; I was rewarded in abundance.
The freedom that is forgiveness. Something not many people actually achieve, as many have told me that they couldn't imagine forgiving similar abuse. I didn't think I had the capability either. Truth be told, I wouldn't have if I had embraced the restored Gospel.
When I met my best friend in 2010, in him I saw a father. He was a real "Dad" to his kids. Even while fighting a battle with cancer, the true integrity of his motto "family is FOREVER!" shocked and entranced me. It was through him that I started learning more about God.
My path over the last three years has been a varied and confused one for much of the time. But when I was at my weakest, I put everything into God's hands, and I was rewarded abundantly. But when I first had the impression to take my father's name to the temple, I wasn't sure if I was ready.
This year, April 20th was a very special day. I had interviewed with my Bishop, and was deemed worthy to enter the Temple on a provisional recommend to perform baptisms of the dead for my ancestors.
I was baptized in the name of several of my female ancestors on my father's side, including my paternal grandma, Margaret Florence Clara Foley Slighte McGhee King (a mouthful, I know!).
I then requested to be present when the proxy for my father and his father was baptized and confirmed in their names.
The young man who was baptized in my male ancestor's names had no idea the gift he gave me. He looked embarrassed by my tearful reaction upon hearing the names of my father, grandfather, and great-grandfather, being confirmed. The Temple workers were empathetic; passing me a tissue with eyes full of understanding.
That day I was gifted with an intense relief, but it wasn't the end of it. I had a mind to write about it when it happened, but felt that there would be more to write about. I had no idea how much my feelings, and then my life, would change.
By being able to release the anger and pain I felt towards my father, and then the disappointment in him regarding his death; and give him up to God to be taught what he needs to know on the other side, I feel free. I no longer carry the burden on my back of his abuse or his suicide after not having seen or talked to him for over 17 years.
In the past few months since taking their names to the temple, I have been rewarded with the absence of the memories that had come to me after having been repressed most of my life. God has granted me the gift of the ability to remember the happy times. The times that God was there in our lives.
My father is now in God's hands.
My Heavenly Father will take care of it all. To both of them, I say "Happy Father's Day. I love you."
But it is my Heavenly Father, to whom I say, "Thank you, for letting me be a "Daddy's Girl" again!"
His heavenly Love and Lighte to all on Father's Day.
I have experienced years of psychotherapy for the abuse I knew I sustained at both my father's and my stepfather's hands. But the anger and disappointment remained.
Four years ago, Father's Day 2009 marked the violent end to my marriage of 20 years, although we wouldn't actually separate for nine more months, nor was the divorce final until we had been married 22 years. But the marriage was over on Father's Day.
Yet another memory for that seemingly ominous day.
 | |
| Ronald George Slighte 1967 |
The Temple.
When I took the information for my father and for his father, both of whoms deaths had been trageties towards our entire family simply by their manner, to the Temple; I was rewarded in abundance.
The freedom that is forgiveness. Something not many people actually achieve, as many have told me that they couldn't imagine forgiving similar abuse. I didn't think I had the capability either. Truth be told, I wouldn't have if I had embraced the restored Gospel.
When I met my best friend in 2010, in him I saw a father. He was a real "Dad" to his kids. Even while fighting a battle with cancer, the true integrity of his motto "family is FOREVER!" shocked and entranced me. It was through him that I started learning more about God.
My path over the last three years has been a varied and confused one for much of the time. But when I was at my weakest, I put everything into God's hands, and I was rewarded abundantly. But when I first had the impression to take my father's name to the temple, I wasn't sure if I was ready.
This year, April 20th was a very special day. I had interviewed with my Bishop, and was deemed worthy to enter the Temple on a provisional recommend to perform baptisms of the dead for my ancestors.
 |
| George Ronald Slighte, Margaret Florence Clara Slighte (nee Foley), Margaret Thornhill Slighte (nee Walsh) & Thomas Slighte (left to right) |
I then requested to be present when the proxy for my father and his father was baptized and confirmed in their names.
The young man who was baptized in my male ancestor's names had no idea the gift he gave me. He looked embarrassed by my tearful reaction upon hearing the names of my father, grandfather, and great-grandfather, being confirmed. The Temple workers were empathetic; passing me a tissue with eyes full of understanding.
That day I was gifted with an intense relief, but it wasn't the end of it. I had a mind to write about it when it happened, but felt that there would be more to write about. I had no idea how much my feelings, and then my life, would change.
By being able to release the anger and pain I felt towards my father, and then the disappointment in him regarding his death; and give him up to God to be taught what he needs to know on the other side, I feel free. I no longer carry the burden on my back of his abuse or his suicide after not having seen or talked to him for over 17 years.
In the past few months since taking their names to the temple, I have been rewarded with the absence of the memories that had come to me after having been repressed most of my life. God has granted me the gift of the ability to remember the happy times. The times that God was there in our lives.
My father is now in God's hands.
My Heavenly Father will take care of it all. To both of them, I say "Happy Father's Day. I love you."
But it is my Heavenly Father, to whom I say, "Thank you, for letting me be a "Daddy's Girl" again!"
His heavenly Love and Lighte to all on Father's Day.
Baptism - a poem
Ironic
A dentist
dressed
in white
My own
jumpsuit
of white
White
underneath
covering
the shame I felt.
My granddaughters
and mother
stand at the font
Backwards
I am dunked
By the dentist
I feel my feet
out from
underneath
I do not panic
I feel secure
in his, and His
support
Up from the
font
I am brought
Clean of my sins
a new life
to begin
I smile at
my granddaughters
and know
it was as much
for me
as it was
for them
Family IS forever,
Amen.
A dentist
dressed
in white
My own
jumpsuit
of white
White
underneath
covering
the shame I felt.
My granddaughters
and mother
stand at the font
Backwards
I am dunked
By the dentist
I feel my feet
out from
underneath
I do not panic
I feel secure
in his, and His
support
Up from the
font
I am brought
Clean of my sins
a new life
to begin
I smile at
my granddaughters
and know
it was as much
for me
as it was
for them
Family IS forever,
Amen.
But WHY the "Mormon Church"
I have heard people say that they understand my faith in God, but not my decision to join The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. They don't understand why I chose to be a Mormon.
A Latter-Day Saint.
First, I don't believe it was a choice. Even an ex thought I had already been a confirmed member of The Church six months before I had even read the Book of Mormon!
I have always been on this path. God chose me. It just took me 46 years to open my eyes.
I joke about having been "stalked by Christ", or more appropriately, by His Church. In my journeys across the country, I found myself stopping and pondering God in front of temples I had no clue even existed before happening upon them.
Books about the Mormon Trail fascinated me. A people who displayed their faith. And what faith it was, and is.
There are a few facts that I want to share with others, about some of my beliefs that finally found their home:
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is the only church that has ever felt like home. My children and my mother know how long I have searched for the truth. Many of my closest friends have seen my search as well.
I am finally at home.
A Latter-Day Saint.
First, I don't believe it was a choice. Even an ex thought I had already been a confirmed member of The Church six months before I had even read the Book of Mormon!
I have always been on this path. God chose me. It just took me 46 years to open my eyes.
I joke about having been "stalked by Christ", or more appropriately, by His Church. In my journeys across the country, I found myself stopping and pondering God in front of temples I had no clue even existed before happening upon them.
Books about the Mormon Trail fascinated me. A people who displayed their faith. And what faith it was, and is.
There are a few facts that I want to share with others, about some of my beliefs that finally found their home:
- The fact that Jesus Christ and God are separate, immortal beings and the Holy Ghost is a separate spirit entity.
- That God did not cease communicating with us through prophets in the time of the bible.
- We have a living prophet that receives revelation for the church in these times; his name is Thomas S. Monson.
- We have the right and the obligation to ask for personal revelation in prayer and to listen to the small still voice that is the Holy Spirit.
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is the only church that has ever felt like home. My children and my mother know how long I have searched for the truth. Many of my closest friends have seen my search as well.
I am finally at home.
Faith in the Small, Still, yet Firm, Voice
When the world around me, is saying one thing, yet that small voice inside says another, it sometimes seems difficult to choose the right.
Even in small things.
I have prayed to my Heavenly Father to illuminate the my path a bit brighter; I acknowledge that it has taken me quite a long time to find the Light that is Christ and my church home, and I feel the need to ask for a bit more enlightenment in regards to the choices He knows are right for me. That doesn't stop me from hearing the world.
So, when the voices of even the most pure at heart conflict with that small, still voice that is that of the Holy Spirit; it is time for me to turn off the world. "Airplane mode" for me, not just my phone. Taking the time to be quiet and ponder. Contemplate. Listen to and for, the Holy Spirit.
I recently watched several General Conference talks about just that: the need to take time to ponder.
Quietly. I find joy and God's touch in the quiet.
My favorite places to ponder, are in the world that He created. The least touched by man's hand, the better. For me, whether they be the Olympics, the Cascades or the Rockies; the mountains of the world are where I feel God's energy to the greatest extent.
My next favorite place to do it, is while driving. Something I am very thankful to have started to do once again. I missed it. I didn't realize how much.
Having seen so much of the country in the past couple of years; for me it is so easy to see God's hand in it all. It is unimaginable for me that some can not see it. I feel sad for them.
The Holy Spirit is there to guide us in EVERYTHING we do.
Holding the hand of our Heavenly Big Brother, Christ; we CAN stand up to any pressure. If we have FAITH. Faith that His hand is and will ALWAYS be there for us to hold.
A friend of mine recently shared with me that for most people, faith is something they strive for, but don't really feel.
My reaction was immediate and profound: Complete and utter sadness. Grief.
But WHY?!?! Don't they see?!
Don't they know that EVERYTHING good is God?! Don't they realize that the atonement is for them?!
I have been guilty of using the euphamism "the Universe" in the past, when I meant God. No matter what words I used, I could see a greater power.
I have been given the blessing of seeing the world through a new set of eyes. I am able to not only look back and see how God has watched over me all my life; but to also see His hand in every moment I am currently living.
When I catch a hold, when I have lost grip; when I put something in a strange place, just where I would need it next; the Holy Spirit is there.
God's own guide.
A gift to me from Him.
How great is His love?!
My journeys these last few years have truly shown me evidence of the Living God. Every time that I "let go" and completely invested my time and my energy "in the moment"; God showed me why I was there.
Nothing is an accident. There are no coincidences. It is ALL part of the plan. Yes, we have our free agency to choose; but that doesn't negate the fact THAT was foretold as well. As were EVERY choice that you and I were and are destine to make. It is this belief that has led me to the faith that I have.
I believe that Jesus Christ is the Only Begotten Son, that God, the Father sent Him here to show us the way and the truth and the light of life.
I believe that the Holy Spirit is the gift I have received through God to guide me in my each and every decision that I make.
I have faith that everything will happen exactly when and where it is meant to happen.
We ALL have our paths. Not one is the same. That is why God has given us each the posibility of having our own personal guide through the darkness we can find on this side of the veil. Our own personal lighthouse.
I think of the Holy Spirit as my own personal lighthouse that shows me the right where ever I am. When I am not obeying God's commandments, a dark fog surrounds that light, making it difficult to make out. When I follow the commandments and make and keep new covenants with God, the light becomes brighter and brighter. It illuminates my path.
That was my prayer. I prayed to my Heavenly Father that the path that I should take would henceforth be illuminated a bit brighter, since it has been difficult in the past for me to see, or choose the right that I did see. He has answered my prayers in abundance!
I have experienced many trials in my life; I know that my trials won't be over until my time on this side is done. But I have faith that the Holy Spirit is there to guide me.
All I have to do, is what I am told. Keep God's commandments. Pray for guidance when I lack the knowledge. Keep reading The Gospels of Christ daily. Remember where the true light comes from.
Have FAITH; He is there to guide and direct us.
Even in small things.
I have prayed to my Heavenly Father to illuminate the my path a bit brighter; I acknowledge that it has taken me quite a long time to find the Light that is Christ and my church home, and I feel the need to ask for a bit more enlightenment in regards to the choices He knows are right for me. That doesn't stop me from hearing the world.
So, when the voices of even the most pure at heart conflict with that small, still voice that is that of the Holy Spirit; it is time for me to turn off the world. "Airplane mode" for me, not just my phone. Taking the time to be quiet and ponder. Contemplate. Listen to and for, the Holy Spirit.
I recently watched several General Conference talks about just that: the need to take time to ponder.
Quietly. I find joy and God's touch in the quiet.
My favorite places to ponder, are in the world that He created. The least touched by man's hand, the better. For me, whether they be the Olympics, the Cascades or the Rockies; the mountains of the world are where I feel God's energy to the greatest extent.
My next favorite place to do it, is while driving. Something I am very thankful to have started to do once again. I missed it. I didn't realize how much.
Having seen so much of the country in the past couple of years; for me it is so easy to see God's hand in it all. It is unimaginable for me that some can not see it. I feel sad for them.
The Holy Spirit is there to guide us in EVERYTHING we do.
Holding the hand of our Heavenly Big Brother, Christ; we CAN stand up to any pressure. If we have FAITH. Faith that His hand is and will ALWAYS be there for us to hold.
A friend of mine recently shared with me that for most people, faith is something they strive for, but don't really feel.
My reaction was immediate and profound: Complete and utter sadness. Grief.
But WHY?!?! Don't they see?!
Don't they know that EVERYTHING good is God?! Don't they realize that the atonement is for them?!
I have been guilty of using the euphamism "the Universe" in the past, when I meant God. No matter what words I used, I could see a greater power.
I have been given the blessing of seeing the world through a new set of eyes. I am able to not only look back and see how God has watched over me all my life; but to also see His hand in every moment I am currently living.
When I catch a hold, when I have lost grip; when I put something in a strange place, just where I would need it next; the Holy Spirit is there.
God's own guide.
A gift to me from Him.
How great is His love?!
My journeys these last few years have truly shown me evidence of the Living God. Every time that I "let go" and completely invested my time and my energy "in the moment"; God showed me why I was there.
Nothing is an accident. There are no coincidences. It is ALL part of the plan. Yes, we have our free agency to choose; but that doesn't negate the fact THAT was foretold as well. As were EVERY choice that you and I were and are destine to make. It is this belief that has led me to the faith that I have.
I believe that Jesus Christ is the Only Begotten Son, that God, the Father sent Him here to show us the way and the truth and the light of life.
I believe that the Holy Spirit is the gift I have received through God to guide me in my each and every decision that I make.
I have faith that everything will happen exactly when and where it is meant to happen.
We ALL have our paths. Not one is the same. That is why God has given us each the posibility of having our own personal guide through the darkness we can find on this side of the veil. Our own personal lighthouse.
I think of the Holy Spirit as my own personal lighthouse that shows me the right where ever I am. When I am not obeying God's commandments, a dark fog surrounds that light, making it difficult to make out. When I follow the commandments and make and keep new covenants with God, the light becomes brighter and brighter. It illuminates my path.
That was my prayer. I prayed to my Heavenly Father that the path that I should take would henceforth be illuminated a bit brighter, since it has been difficult in the past for me to see, or choose the right that I did see. He has answered my prayers in abundance!
I have experienced many trials in my life; I know that my trials won't be over until my time on this side is done. But I have faith that the Holy Spirit is there to guide me.
All I have to do, is what I am told. Keep God's commandments. Pray for guidance when I lack the knowledge. Keep reading The Gospels of Christ daily. Remember where the true light comes from.
Have FAITH; He is there to guide and direct us.
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