A Different Kind of Happy Father's Day: Temple Work as Therapy

I am a survivor. I didn't realize the extent of the abuse that I had survived, until repressed memories surfaced three years ago. Even before then, I knew that "Father's Day" never conjured up the happiness in me that it seemed it ought to have.

I have experienced years of psychotherapy for the abuse I knew I sustained at both my father's and my stepfather's hands. But the anger and disappointment remained.

Four years ago, Father's Day 2009 marked the violent end to my marriage of 20 years, although we wouldn't actually separate for nine more months, nor was the divorce final until we had been married 22 years. But the marriage was over on Father's Day.
Yet another memory for that seemingly ominous day.

Ronald George Slighte 1967

This year is so different. Having the gift of being more in touch with my Heavenly Father, it was He that led me to a method of forgiveness for my temporal father, Ronald George Slighte.

The Temple.


When I took the information for my father and for his father, both of whoms deaths had been trageties towards our entire family simply by their manner, to the Temple; I was rewarded in abundance.


The freedom that is forgiveness. Something not many people actually achieve, as many have told me that they couldn't imagine forgiving similar abuse. I didn't think I had the capability either. Truth be told, I wouldn't have if I had embraced the restored Gospel.

When I met my best friend in 2010, in him I saw a father. He was a real "Dad" to his kids. Even while fighting a battle with cancer, the true integrity of his motto "family is FOREVER!" shocked and entranced me. It was through him that I started learning more about God.

My path over the last three years has been a varied and confused one for much of the time. But when I was at my weakest, I put everything into God's hands, and I was rewarded abundantly. But when I first had the impression to take my father's name to the temple, I wasn't sure if I was ready.

This year, April 20th was a very special day. I had interviewed with my Bishop, and was deemed worthy to enter the Temple on a provisional recommend to perform baptisms of the dead for my ancestors.

George Ronald Slighte, Margaret Florence Clara Slighte (nee Foley),
Margaret Thornhill Slighte (nee Walsh) & Thomas Slighte
(left to right)

I was baptized in the name of several of my female ancestors on my father's side, including my paternal grandma, Margaret Florence Clara Foley Slighte McGhee King (a mouthful, I know!).
I then requested to be present when the proxy for my father and his father was baptized and confirmed in their names.


The young man who was baptized in my male ancestor's names had no idea the gift he gave me. He looked embarrassed by my tearful reaction upon hearing the names of my father, grandfather, and great-grandfather, being confirmed. The Temple workers were empathetic; passing me a tissue with eyes full of understanding.

That day I was gifted with an intense relief, but it wasn't the end of it. I had a mind to write about it when it happened, but felt that there would be more to write about. I had no idea how much my feelings, and then my life, would change.

By being able to release the anger and pain I felt towards my father, and then the disappointment in him regarding his death; and give him up to God to be taught what he needs to know on the other side, I feel free. I no longer carry the burden on my back of his abuse or his suicide after not having seen or talked to him for over 17 years.

In the past few months since taking their names to the temple, I have been rewarded with the absence of the memories that had come to me after having been repressed most of my life. God has granted me the gift of the ability to remember the happy times. The times that God was there in our lives.

My father is now in God's hands.

My Heavenly Father will take care of it all. To both of them, I say "Happy Father's Day. I love you."

But it is my Heavenly Father, to whom I say, "Thank you, for letting me be a "Daddy's Girl" again!"
His heavenly Love and Lighte to all on Father's Day.

Baptism of the Dead

So, here is a confession: I was hesitant to share this particular blog on my Facebook pages due to the fact that I know that the "Baptism of the Dead" practice in my church has been known to be a controversial topic amongst those not of the church.

So, in true "ME" fashion, I decided to pray and write about my feelings on the matter. So, without further adieu:

What are "Baptisms of the Dead" to me?

The way my little brain understands it....it's as if Christ, himself would walk into the waiting room of hell and point at your ancestor and say, "Hey, you there, one of your descendants put in a good word for you, would you like to come with me?"

They still have FREE use of their agency (freedom of choice). But Christ is giving them a "second chance" via a descendant who has baptized them in the Temple.

Here are a couple of personal examples for me:

1. My grandfather: He was a Christian but who after a severe head injury succumbed to suicide.

I feel his mother and wife, two Margaret Slightes, begging him to come to heaven.
Why wouldn't I do anything and everything in MY power to help him?

2. My father: a loud atheist all of my life.

He succumbed to evil in the form of taking his own life, after having lived a life so sinful that some would call him a demon himself.

His mother and grandparents know his soul was tragically injured by his father's untimely death and all of the circumstances surrounding it. He was also profoundly effected as a child by the abuse by a step-father.
His abuse of me and my brother has left me in a position where forgiveness is difficult.

In his case, IF I were to submit his name to the Temple for baptism of the dead, to me it would be a signal that *I* have forgiven him for his horrendous sins against me, and I am asking God to do the same.

Past that; if Jesus allows him a second chance to change on the other side of the veil, who am I to say no?

Just sayin.

My Spiritual Journey

(originally posted on Slightely Maggie on 13 Mar 2013)

This is about me. Well, many things I write, and have written, have been about me. About my journey though this life. This is probably the most intimate glimpse I have ever given anyone.

I am giving it to anyone who wants to know.

For those who want to know why, Margaret Ellen Slighte, came to the decision to embrace The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints as her "church home."

I'm forty six years old.

I have tasted of any sin I may have desired, and many I never thought I could even stomach.

I am done. Done with sin. Done with living in any manner that is disrespectful to myself, my relationship with Jesus Christ, or that of God, the Father.

I desire to begin to live in a righteous manner. In a manner which is respectful of the relationship of my soul with the Godhead. With Christ, God, and the Holy Spirit, which I pray that I will be able to acknowledge how each have touched my life in every moment.

When do I remember my relationship with God, and Christ, beginning? What is my first "spiritual memory?" (What is YOURS? What do YOU remember?)

When I lived in Shelton (the first time), after my parent's divorce, my mother sent me to Sunday School against my father's wishes (he was an atheist, a LOUD one). I believe I was six or seven years old when this happened.
 

Margaret Ellen Slighte
1974

During one of the Sunday School lessons, we were singing the song "This Little Light of Mine" ( LIGHTE :) ) and I immediately felt a warm sunny feeling, but much brighter, around my "soul". It was my first conscious feeling of having a "soul". I knew there was a Christ. I also knew there were two other separate energies I felt: One of God, the Father as well as The Holy Spirit.

I have always known that we were all connected. I have always known that "good" or "holy" deeds brought more reward to my soul, than did "selfish" or "hedonistic" deeds.

During these nearly four years since the explosive destruction of my family, and my marriage on Father's Day 2009, I continued my disastrous and self-destructive behavior in a manner that was not only disrespectful to myself, it was also extremely public.

I have had times that the Lord has given me a glimpse of His comfort and glory. My travels across the country have been blessed with not only support of my friends, but also my Savior. My prayers have not gone unanswered. I have been given many gifts. I received them not with the grace I could, and should have.

Having displayed my sins so publicly, and with less than shameful appearances; I prayed whether, as part of my transformation, I should let go of any public exposure (social media). My prayers were answered that my contrition and apologies; my guilt and repentance be as public as I was with my sinful behavior.
Once my period of contrition is over, I will pray and re-evaluate which sites and accounts to retain, and which to discontinue.

When I speak of my sins, I learned the hard way that there is an adversary.

Evilhas worked it's way into my family since I was a very small child.

I have had agents of evil, and when I say evil, I mean the darkest of the dark, at work within my family for generations.

From the time my father's father submitted to the demons that haunted him, and ended his own life; our family has been haunted by evil.

My own father committed suicide around my birthday in 1999, 15 years after I last saw him. The abuse I sustained at his hands, as a small child can only be termed as evil. Then, as a young teenager, he made certain he instilled his lack of morality into my ideas. His constant guidance was down the wrong path. When I was becoming a mother, I KNEW I needed to distance myself from him.  I knew enough to keep my children from that piece of evil in my life. Unfortunately, I did not give them the gift of a righteous home to be raised in. For this I am very sorry.

In the last year, I discovered that the adversary will tempt us with that which we THINK we desire the most when we are at our lowest.

My teenage nephew committed suicide last summer, shortly thereafter I again went astray from a righteous path. I sought love and comfort from the evil that danced in front of me and begged me to join it.

I was to receive what I thought I desired, and instead of joy and elation that would be with truth and love, I felt instead the true stink and disgust of the sin, as a layer of scum, upon my soul.

Hedonism: self-love. I believe that we are divine. In the way that our Creator would not create anything LESS than divine. How I have treated myself and others around me has been so much less than divine.

The commandments are CLEAR, however, thou shall not worship anyone or anything except the one TRUE God. It may feel good for a little while, but the scum upon my soul is deep now.
I am in need of a baptism, a TRUE baptism and to exercise my own agency to choose righteous behavior which is respectful of myself and my relationship with Christ, and His Father, our Creator 

Throughout my life, whatever evils that I endured, and enjoyed; I KNEW right from wrong. 
I felt shame and disgust at some of my own behavior. What I DIDN'T understand, was how to change. I didn't respect myself enough, I didn't honor that I was a daughter of God.
Most of my life I allowed myself to be used in any way that the males around me desired to use me. I was disposable, right? WRONG.
I am a daughter of God. I deserve to begin to honor that.

My daughter, and my sons and my granddaughters and grandson deserve to be honored by me being a person who respects herself and who does her best to be righteous and respectful of our Father in Heaven.

I will continue to grow, and to learn, on my spiritual journey. I will expand and expound upon this, my journal of my relationship with my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. 

I invite anyone interested to do as I did, and look up the Book of Mormon, another Testament of Jesus Christ. It's online. Read it. Pray. Decide for yourself. I did.