Showing posts with label clothing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label clothing. Show all posts

25 May 2013

Minding Our Words and Dress

Tears filled my eyes as I pondered the condition of my remaining mismatched compression stockings, combined with my current temporal situation. I wondered if the lady member in the Family History Center had any idea the effect that she had upon me.

I am so incredibly thankful for the divinely-inspired friendships of my own ward family. None of the women in my ward have EVER caused me to feel the way I felt that day.

I was once again accompanying my friend on her volunteering day at the FHC to use that opportunity to research my own family; when as an answer to a prayer I had just started, brought me to assist this Lady on the computer. While we awaited the computer's piece of the task at hand (populating her family tree after I entered her information), she shared with me her views on the current state of the dress of the women of the church.

Most of her words went in one ear and out the other; since there have been a few occasions even in my own ward, where my eyebrows have been raised.
When she started in on bare legs, she got my attention. Even with the longest of skirts, she stated, there is NO reason they cant go to the effort of at least putting on knee high nylon stockings to come to church.

My skirt was long, and there were members in the FHC that day even wearing jeans; but my bare legs felt conspicuous, and I tucked them further under the chair. It hurt my heart that she thought I didn't care how I presented myself.

In the past two months since my baptism, I have not shared my temporal situation with many people other than very close friends and members assisting me with the practicalities of becoming one of the "covenant people". I have had generous Sisters hand down skirts when I owned none. I have been on the receiving end of much generosity within my ward.

On Saturday night as I laid out my church clothes, as I pondered what she had shared with me the state of my own remaining support hose had me in tears. Then I came to a realization.

If my faith was less than it is, and I had not been gifted with divine friendships within my WONDERFUL ward family; I could EASILY been intimidated into a point that I didn't feel my dressing abilities were worthy of being included in Sacrament Service.

Twice now I have attended the Seattle Temple to perform baptisms for the dead of my family. With her words ringing in my ears, I humbly remembered that I had worn nylons neither time. My clumsiness due to my disabilities causes the practicalities of putting them on in a stall, nearly impossible. Having a broken thumb makes dressing difficult enough without adding the complication of attempting not to snag a nylon.

I am VERY cognizant of presenting myself in the appropriate manner. To this end, I have hand-printed a piece of paper above the mirror I use. When I have my own home, I will put a mirror by the door with this on a wooden sign above it saying:
"If you were to meet Jesus Christ on the street today, would you feel happy with how you look?

NO? Turn around and change! :)"

God is the ONLY one I need to please. Never once have I been told in answer to a prayer that I need to put nylons on for Him to love me!

I do know that "we are all human". I know The Church and the restored gospel are true. Personally, I will make sure from now on that I mind how I approach others, mindful that we are ALL God's children, lest ANYONE be caused to feel by MY words, how I felt after HER words.

Author's note: I was compelled to read this in my Relief Society meeting shortly after I had posted it. To my surprise, after the meeting was concluded, when I walked out of the meeting room, I noticed the Lady who had made those comments, awaiting her ward's service which is held in the same building as mine, at a different time.
We have exchanged many pleasant conversations about family history, and I doubt she even remembers the comments about clothing. The important lesson for me, was that I did, and it causes me to be mindful about what I say to others, daily.
I wasn't wearing nylons that day either. :)

01 April 2013

Going Forth in Virtue with Shame

I FEEL different.

I feel ashamed when I think of my past behavior.
It's not how I want to remember myself. How do I reconcile this? All of these feelings?
I know God forgave me when I was baptized; but SERIOUSLY, the VERY thought of doing any of those things, ever, APPALLS me!

I believe that it is a mercy, that the Holy Spirit has filled me so completely that I feel PHYSICALLY REPULSED at the ideas of certain things that I know I did not that long ago. It's an awful feeling, remembering certain memories.  I feel ashamed. Full of shame. It's something I am having a hard time putting into words.

It was LITERALLY a complete change of heart. It happened quickly. VERY quickly. The moment God told me that I must seek the church and baptism or I would loose that small quiet voice, forever. Only then did I realize how little I had REALLY bothered to listen to it for most of my adult life. I took it for granted that it would always be there, when I needed it.
The thought of loosing it horrified me completely.

At that time, I began changing my behaviors, gradually.

I have since changed: 
  • My manner of dress (many items of clothing were removed from my wardrobe completely   - not even layering would work). I RESPECT my body as a child of God. I am a sister to Christ. My big brother wouldn't want me showing my body in disrespectful ways.
  • My way of speaking (no more vulgarities)... and it is difficult at times, I will admit. I have had that habit since I was a small child. I am using it as an opportunity to strengthen my vocabulary as well as evaluate the reason behind using expletives in the first place.
  • I strive to be a calmer and gentler person.
  • The music I listen to: I no longer listen to a lot of heavy metal. Quieter music with a positive message is my preference right now. Especially no drama-filled music (this is VERY difficult for a girl who likes her country!).
  • The way I spend my time: I am spending my time between doing my best to help others each day as well as learn more about the scriptures every. I read or listen to scripture at least an hour every day. I have been walking every day. Taking time to play with Athena and get outside. Even on the bad days.

These are changes that have made my spirit SHINE! I have felt BETTER and BETTER inside and out with each progressive change.

Heavenly Father filled me with the desire to only do what I had put my intention behind: Start on a virtuous path. Leave sin behind and walk forward into the LIGHTE!!!

I thank God for His hand in my life. He reached out and grabbed me by the nap of the neck and said "WAKE UP!!!"  LITERALLY. That is how it feels.



A changed heart indeed. A FULL heart. Full to bursting.
I love my Lord.

Heavenly Father, Thank you for all Your heavenly blessings. In Jesus' name I say this. amen.