Climbing Back up the Ladder

Climbing back into the attic isn't just about overcoming the fall...

For me, it was about remembering three little words my husband taught me. 
It was also about being more conscientious about listening to the Holy Spirit.

The fateful day when I fell, now fifteen months ago, the wrong spirit was in my home. 

My husband and I were arguing about essentially nothing... but the spirit of contention was present. That also meant that the Holy Spirit was not.

It was the Holy Spirit that I felt each time I was quietly reminded to grasp tighter to the ladder. 

The Holy Spirit wasn't there that day... and I had my hands full of stuff and a heart full of anger as I fell backwards 10 feet into the air... landing on a hard floor breaking my back.

The Holy Spirit arrived with the Missionaries that day. The young Priesthood holders who my husband called to bless me, when I screamed for them in pain. 

They were his second call that day, the first being to 911. The Elders performed the blessing with me on a stretcher on my front lawn.

For the next four days, in a haze of intractable pain, I learned to walk again. 

I was in a steel brace for 6 weeks, then released for 6 more weeks of physical therapy. By the time September came, I was preparing to journey to Arizona with my husband to explore the land we dreamed of purchasing.

With Heavenly Father's assistance, I healed. 

When I returned to the house where the accident had occurred, it had been almost a year since the fall. I even surprised myself at the amount of PTSD that the ladder contained within it's every rung. But that very fact made me more determined to climb it.

The attic was my get-away. It was on that hard wooden floor of that attic where I prayed to God to know how to become closer to Jesus Christ. It was in that attic where I received the answer I wasn't ready for. It was in that attic where I was told by my Heavenly Father to be Baptized and become a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

It is in that attic, where I feel closer to God. Perhaps, because I spent months up there, alone. Perhaps because the wooden floor has absorbed more of my tears in prayer than any other place in the world. Perhaps. 

As I climbed the ladder.... a poem started to form. I have shared it here:

Three points of Contact

Three points of contact
the words ring in my head

three points of contact
next time could find you dead

Three points of contact
my shoulders loaded with bags

Three points of contact
Forgot to drop my shoes
this could be bad

Three points of contact
Do curled toes count as one?

Three points of contact
four to go, I'm almost done.

Three points of contact
On the way up the stairs

Three points of contact
into my attic lair

Three points of contact
Why do I want to climb?

Three points of contact
to get writing out of my MIND

Three points of conact
almost to the top

Three points of contact
it would be crazy now
to stop!

Three points of contact
my pulse racing in my ears

Three points of contact
amplifying false fears

Three poinst of contact
breath shallow, too fast

Three points of contact,
my feet on the attic floor
I made it at last.

Three points of contact,
the phrase my companion
taught me

Three points of contact
make them each time
you climb
and be free.

Three Points of Contact

(My daily struggle with PTSD from my 10 foot fall off an attic ladder that broke my back, continues...)

I made it up the stairs, but trying to get back to writing when sitting is no longer acceptable to my body was another journey. I had wanted to write for months, but every time I tried to begin, I got frustrated with my pain level and stopped. 
Finally, it happened. I was able to not only put scriptures onto photos I had taken, but I was able to once again articulate in a written form.

So, here it begins. Again. 
Thanks for your patience. 

I hope everyone's week is full of the Love and Lighte of Jesus Christ. 

True Charity

We are taking a trip to the Bishop's storehouse for the first time ever today.
Most people not members aren't familiar with our church and it's charity, most church members never have the need to ask.
Frankly, like most of us, I don't like to ask for help for myself. However, living with two disabled men, I try to put their needs before my own.

This month, as my husband and I were looking at our budget and our need to travel to Washington at the first of the month. As we paid our tithing, we were given a witness that our situation would likely become financially difficult this month.

So we made sure to pay our tithing in full, and prayed that we would have the humility to ask for help when it was required.  This week it became a requirement.
When we talked to our roommate about seeking such assistance, it brought to his mind visions of rotten, outdated food from local food banks. Food that was not really edible, but that would sustain the most desperate.
Then I took out a copy of a food order sheet. He was amazed. The selection and amount of food offered, all non-expired and grown and packaged and blessed for the use of those who are in need.
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints not only provides for it's members when they are in need, but provides the ways and means for it's members to become more self-sufficient.
On it's website, http://providentliving.org, the church has made resources for the education of it's members in regards to self-sufficiency in the areas of employment, finances & food storage available. They teach us to be good stewards of this world and it's resources.
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints has a programs to support their members, and their communities throughout the world.
One of the wonderful benefits of belonging to a church who truly cares for it's members, is that ALL our needs are cared for.
Anyone who is in need, need only to ask their local Bishop.
Not a church member, but need food: just ask.
I am happy and proud to be a member of a church that practices what it preaches. Charity never faiths. But sometimes we fail to ask. Fail to humble ourselves. But when we do find that humility, we are rewarded. Sometimes we are rewarded to be able to share those blessings with others.
To learn more about the Humanitarian efforts of our church, please visit: http://www.ldsphilanthropies.org/humanitarian-services/

Faith of a Bishop

A congregation
Files in a bit late --
The Sabbath
after Christmas
Has the benches a bit sparse.

Aaronic & Bishopric
in a quiet, yet slightly
troubled stirring.
An Aaronic
Priesthood holder
quietly motions to the
Bishop at the podium,
"PLEASE delay,"
Desperation and concern
color his young face.
A worried chorister
agrees in doubtful
confidence with the Bishop
as he gives her quiet direction.
I watch my Bishop --
A man full of faith --
Say a silent prayer
Then ponder
for a quiet moment,
as the congregation
sat in vapid anticipation;
Then cue
to begin
the Sacrament hymn.
Those of us
paying attention --
Those of us
in a front row --
Took notice
of the faith
of our Bishop

To begin
the Sacrament hymn
Before the
bread
had arrived.

As we began
the second verse
of the slow
and reverent words --
a door opened --
bread passed through.
Sighs of relief
were heard;
more than a few.
The faith
of our Bishop
burned strong
in my heart,
as I heard
my own
message from God
about a new start:

Have faith -
say a prayer -
Then softly and gently
push doubt & doubters aside --
this one isn't their ride.

You Become what you Think and Do - quote

You cannot be passive in life, or in time the natural man will undermine your efforts to live worthily. You become what you do and what you think about. - Elder Richard G. Scott, The Transforming Power of Faith and Character, General Conference, Oct 2010