
Apparently last week was "International Siblings Day" Facebook. After looking it up on
Wikipedia,
I discovered that it wasn't invented by Facebook, and I felt bad that I
had missed the opportunity to tell the world about my amazing
relationship with my brother. My one and only sibling.
The
Book of Mormon works in mysterious ways. So does our Heavenly Father.
When I was learning the lessons getting ready to be baptized, my brother
was also undergoing an immense amount of repentance and pain.
Heavenly Father began to
soften my heart towards my family again. In particular, towards my brother who I had shut out of my life during his involvement in drugs and then prison.
When I was
repenting and contrite upon my knees asking my
Heavenly Father for forgiveness, I was also asking Him to
bless my
family, especially my little brother who was suffering the worse loss a
person could imagine. Not only the loss of his child; but the loss of a
child, barely an adult, for whom he already felt guilt in regards to
his absence while that child was younger. I could not imagine his pain.
I
was impressed, since it had been many years since we had even spoken,
to write a letter to him. Since I was aware that he had previously
investigated
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, I was also impressed to include a
Book of Mormon.

The
other items I included with my letter were a book of stamps so that he
could write anyone he wanted to, as well as one self-addressed stamped
envelope. I wanted a reply.
The letter with the
Book of Mormon
reached his residence at an inpatient facility that was mandated by his
probation. His return letter indicated that he was also on the path to a
baptism. His, by a church near his treatment home.

My brother and
I continued to correspond for his remaining time in treatment. When he
returned to the area, against the advice of many who remembered the
demonic influences in his life and how he embraced them, I decided to
meet with him and get to know my little brother again. It had been
decades since we had spent a good amount of time alone. The last time we
spent time together at all was during a holiday and it ended in
disaster and drama.
My
little brother was born to our mother and father when we were living in
Port Townsend. It was 1970, and I was almost 4 years old. When our
parents divorced almost a year after his birth, we remained with mom. It
was the two of us against the world. Usually also against our parents,
using one against the other like typical children of divorced parents in
the 1970s. Only I was allowed to beat up my brother, and I would beat
up anyone else who tried. Yes, I was the type of big sister who
volunteers in her baby brother's kindergarten class. I loved that kid.
Life
in our lives wasn't easy. An angry, abusive step father as well as a
biological father who vacillated between being absent and being the
worse types of abusive were the father figures we had. Our mother loved
us and loved God. She tried to expose us to many different churches so
that we could choose for ourselves. This was quite a difficult task,
when if we mentioned to dad that we had attended one, we could end up
with not only a spanking, but a ring-side seat at a yelling match from
hell between our parents. But we attended anyway. As many times as dad
asked each of us to deny our God, it was only with a wink to each other
and our fingers crossed. Me saying my prayers for forgiveness as well.
Through
the typical drama of abusive homes of divorce in the 1970s and 1980s,
my brother and I had each other. We could talk about anything. Satan had
his way, in many ways in our homes. Finally, a fog of drugs and abuse
took my brother from me.

As
he furthered his way into the drug world, I separated my young family
from his. As his family was being raised by other people, I kept him in
my prayers. Then there would come short times when he would sober up, or
attempt to hide the fact that he wasn't; and seek to come around. It
broke my heart every time I was forced to shut him out of our lives. For
my children's sake, it was all I knew how to do.
It was my little
brother who called me on an August 2000 morning, to inform me of our
father's suicide. Neither one of us had been informed officially, our
father's only children, and we were not informed until 10 months after
his death on the weekend of my birthday in 1999. After tearful hours on
the phone with his widow, I learned that the timing was not
coincidental. In the 15 years that I had not seen or spoken to our
father, his abusive obsession with me had not wavered. Our father's
suicide was 50 years after his own father had taken his life when our
father was 4.
Major Depressive Disorder, among other
challenges,
run in our family. Both my brother and I have dealt with this challenge
ourselves. After our father's death, my brother and I saw each other a
few times. He was in and out of prison, and I was raising a family. Our
mother kept on me to get in contact with him through the years, but it
wasn't until that
Book of Mormon that I was impressed to do my best to fix what
Satan and our temporal father had attempted through his abuse to tear apart.
Through the summer after I joined
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints,
my brother and I began to spend a lot of time together. It was the
first time since childhood that we had really had the opportunity to get
to know one another. I, for one, found in my little brother a friend I
never imagined. Someone who knew me, as I knew him. Someone I could give
another chance to. Someone I wanted around me.
After a summer full of blessings of the new friendship of siblings, we were put to the test. In October I had been impressed
that I had $300 put aside to spend on transportation and I had been
frustrated at my lack of a car. I asked my brother to come with me to
see if I could find a car to finance. I had the afternoon before an
evening meeting at the
Family History Center for my new
calling.
As
we walked, we crossed a double train track. There was clear visibility
both directions for at least a quarter mile. We crossed without
hesitation.
The Holy Ghost was
a wonderful companion while car shopping, and amazed my brother by
witnessing to us certain flaws to watch out for in each car. I was happy
I had prayed that morning. Everything was wonderfully clear.
On
our return trip, after having no luck in the auto venture, we came back
the same way. Only this time, there was a train stopped on the tracks
closest to us. We looked down each way, the train was at least a quarter
mile long in both directions; I thought to myself it was going to be a long walk.
While
I was thinking this to myself, my little brother did what he had always
done while I was in charge of watching him while we were kids: embraced
his impulsivity. He said "let's go" and proceeded to go under the
train, stopping to get up between the train tracks before leaning under
the train, to beckon me towards him.
I was in absolute shock. I don't remember speaking at all. I do
remember how wide my eyes got when I felt Satan attempt to take my
brother. I heard a witness by the
Holy Ghost: Come BACK NOW!!!! I frantically motioned for him to come back.
For
one of the first time in our lives, my baby brother actually listened
to me. As he ducked and went back under the train, we felt the ground
begin to rumble; before he was standing upright on my side of the
tracks, a train was passing at an extremely rapid pace on the track that
my brother was nearly standing upon seconds before.
If I had followed him, and not acknowledged and obeyed
The Holy Spirit,
neither my brother nor I would be alive today. We were so blessed to
spend the holidays together for the first time in years as a family with
our only living parent, one of my children, and two of my
grandchildren. We are a family and we are blessed.

- With our grandma, Margaret Ellen Savage Rebman in the 70s
I did end up spending that $300 on transportation, but that's another story on the
pile for another time. It, too, is a long one.